The Cost of Forgiveness

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depends on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge... One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you O God, are strong and that you, O God, are loving." (Psalm 62: 5-7, 11-12, NIV) In Joyce Meyer's devotion this morning she spoke about prayer and how it releases the power of almighty God into our daily lives; how it can move the hand of God. Simple, believing prayer. So, okay Father, here goes. You know how I enjoy or visits. They are uniquely ours and I cherish them. You know that, and I feel you smile. We started this conversation yesterday morning and you've brought it up again so I must go there. My work key wouldn't open the gym door this morning, some connection within it is broken and entry was denied. That's how I'm feeling lately, that some connection between me and you is locking me out of, or gaining access to your heart, and I don't have the know how to fix the key. I love our chats, I miss our chats. What am I dong wrong? Show me my sin, that I might confess it and our relationship be restored. "Unforgiveness, daughter." Towards whom? "You know towards whom. Your boss. certain members of your family. Nick. Yourself. Me. Each in a different way and to different degrees, but you know it's there." Oh. "You willingly chose this journey to liveliving. This is part of it, part of your growth. Forgive them." But Father. you know my heart. They hurt me, the child in me. "I forgave you and you killed my Son." Oh. Do I have to "love" them? "Let Me do that part. You just forgive." They will hurt me again. Not forgiving them protects the child in me. It keeps them at a distance. "Yes, but it also locks the door to the growth in our relationship. You don't want that either. Remember, all this brings us full circle to your original question. You want the key to our relationship fixed? Forgive." Okay, so if I forgive... "No conditions daughter, no restrictions. Forgive." That's hard Father. Can't I just jab them a little? "For what? Will that restore your relationshp with them? Jabbing them...a little?" No. "From your heart daughter. Go into another room, shut the door, get on your knees and give them to Me. For Jesus' sake." For Jesus' sake, Father? "Why do you think he willingly died on the cross for you? Just to please me? No, he went through all he did on the cross so that the relationship between me and you could be restored. He paid the ultimate price of forgiveness. Isn't your forgiveness worth it, for Him?" Yes, Father. Thank you. "Give them to Me. Forgive."

More Early Writings

02/25/15 John 8:28-29 - "So Jesus said, 'When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know that I am the one I claim to be, and that I do nothing on my own, but speak just what the Father has taught me. The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him." Father, may my desires become 'one" with yours. Yesterday morning we were told that our co-worker's niece, Grace, 13, committed suicide by hanging the night before. Our whole office is devastated. This morning when on the treadmill, I was praying for Tina and her family and my first excise cheer came to mind. "From the top of my head, to the tip of my toes, the sweat is melting the fat. I thank you Lord, I praise you Lord, I look unto your face. I thank you for your work in me, Walk forward in your grace." And that last word brought young Grace to the forefront of my thoughts. Her name means "God's favor." I hear the Holy Spirit speak to my heart, "Don't do this exercising for yourself, do it for the life she could have had, do it for your co-worker, do your workouts for others, to show them how full their lives can be when they invite Me along for the journey. Do this for that one woman who believes she'll never make it, never get the weight off, never shake off her emotional baggage. Do this for her that Jesus might be revealed in you." Amen Father, amen. From this prayer came this cheer: It's not about speed, it's about endurance. Walking with Jesus, walking with Jesus. Do it for Tyson, do it for Grace, Do it for those who can't run the race. Do it for Mary, do it for Grace, (added Mary after she was hospitalized) Do it for those who can't run the race. See them ahead? Cheering you on! All glory to God, The race has been won! 02/28/15 Joshua 1:7-9, NIRV (May His Word ignite your soul) “Be strong and very brave. Make sure you obey the whole law my servant Moses gave you. Do not turn away from it to the right or the left. Then you will have success everywhere you go. 8 Never stop reading this Book of the Law. Day and night you must think about what it says. Make sure you do everything written in it. Then things will go well with you. And you will have great success. 9 Here is what I am commanding you to do. Be strong and brave. Do not be afraid. Do not lose hope. I am the Lord your God. I will be with you everywhere you go.” 03/02/15 Luke 5:5 "Simon answered, "Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets." That's what I feel like today Lord. I worked hard for 30 days, have only list 2 1/2 lbs. and my new exercise partner has stopped coming. I feel like Peter, "I haven't caught anything." Yet, because you've called me to this, I am going to register for that 5K in Fort Dodge today, I'm going to "let down my nets." Whether I lose another pound or not, I'm going to follow you. I'm going to give up all my own ways of thinking, of doing, of following the rules and step out in faith and come to you. It's a new fresh month Lord Jesus and I devote it and dedicate it to you, and follow your direction. In Jesus' name, because you say so.

Lift Up Your Knees and Run! (Early writings)

I was looking through my journal this morning and re-read some of them. I'll put some of them here for your encouragement. This one was written February 7th, 2015. "Lift up your knees and run, Lift up your knees and run. A new thing He's starting, He's only begun, So lift up your knees and RUN!! Psalm 119:105 - "Your word is a lamp unto my feet and a light for my path." In order to obey your instructions I must believe your "instructions" are true and they are true in my life today. Do I believe your word will shed light up on my walk with you? Will it encourage me as I go? Do I believe it will illuminate my knowledge and understanding of the direction you want me to go? Will it surround my walk with the glory of your presence? Fill me with a peace that the direction I'm going is right and right with you? Do I BELIEVE that? It's true whether I believe it or not, but when I believe it's true for me now, i will step forward into that truth. 02/12/15 Tummy Cheer Your tummy's got that ring of fat, The time of sitting has got to stop, So suck it in and pull it up, Suck it in and pull it up. When you're jogging and feel it flop, Just suck it in and pull it up. Suck it in, pull it up, Suck it in, pull it up. Before you know it, it'll stop, So suck it in, pull it up, Suck it in, pull it UP! Okay, so it's not the most spiritual cheer, but at the time it motivated me to focus, and it gave me a chuckle and encouragement to enjoy the journey. 02/14/15 Psalm 33:20-22 - "We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, Lord, even as we put our hope in you." Wow. Thank you father. I know your eyes are on me and your plan and purpose for me will stand firm. You love me with an unfailing love. In you I can not fail. Wow. Thank you. I bought that figurine today. The one I've been looking at for the past year at the second hand store. It stands about 6 inches tall, is white and depicts Jesus as a carpenter with tools at his side and a tool box in His hand. Today is Valentine's day and my birthday is a couple days away. I didn't care about the cost ($7.50), it's been mine since I first saw it. I don't know where it came from, but it spoke to my heart. Just sayin'. You are fashioning/building a new Marilyn and I know I can trust my Maker's chisel and saw with the life He's given me. For You love me just as I am and who I am is emerging into your likeness. Woo Hoo!

Tangible Love

James 2:26- " So then, as the body without the spirit is dead, also faith without actions is dead. (NCV) I receive in my email, devotionals from the website Girlfriends in God, www.girlfriendsingod.com. Yesterday's was particularly helpful to me. It was written by Kathi Lipp and entitled "From Intention to Action." Read it for yourself, you will be blessed. She wrote about the aftermath of the death of her father and how touched she was by those who showed tangible evidence of their love towards the family and expressed God's love towards them in their grief. I don't want to give it away, but I was struck by the expression that although "there were hundreds of Facebook messages and emails," it was the cares and the flowers and the "showing up" when needed that truly impacted her life. All of which reminded me of my desire to honor my friend Mary's memory in some "tangible" way. Ms. Lipp said there were 2 things that she "did to stop thinking about loving others and get busy doing it." They were "#1. Pray. Pray that God would show you who needs encouragement today, and #2. Set up Systems of accomplishing that, either through cards, casseroles, a stack of $5 Starbucks cards, whatever." And I realized that this so emphasized the verse above in James 2:26. Someone once wrote, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions," and that's true. It's easy to intend to show someone you care, but it takes effort to show them. Showing God's love to others is what impacts their life. In effect, that's my intention with this blog, is to show whomever reads it how God is impacting my life and telling you, the reader, that He will do the same for you. But if we listen to the Holy Spirit's nudging, that's not enough. So how do I tangibly show you faith? I remember when I was on the 5K I did my best to encourage others who passed me on the path, I remember at the end of the race stopping the couple who were walking in front of me during the whole race and thanking them for the encouragement they gave me to keep going and I especially remember high-fiving the people who were cheering me on at the end of the race to keep going. They impacted me so much that I want to do the same for others. At this point, the best way I can show you, the reader, God's love, is to not quit, keep on with this journey to liveliving in every area of my life and share with you how God's is working in and through me. Back to Mary. Mary had 3 great loves: her relationship with her Lord Jesus, Her family and her pets. Unconditionally, she loved them all. She showed her Lord she loved Him when she praised Him in song and in her prayers and by giving her time and many times of her meager means to others; she showed her family she loved them by going to as many sporting events and other activities that they were involved in as she physically could and babysitting her grandbabies when her health allowed (and sometimes even when it didn't); she showed her pets she loved them by welcoming strays into her home and providing for them when they would have otherwise died. There weren't a lot of people at her funeral and one might think that she didn't impact many lives, but to those whom she loved in word and in deed, she loved fully and down the road that will have an impact on them and on others. So Father, show me today someone who needs encouragement and how to do that, how to show them you love them, tangibly. You came so that they might have life (not good intentions), and have it more abundantly. In Jesus' name I am eagerly looking for that person you want to give life to.

Snack Attack Wars!

So this is the day at work where all those who have birthdays in this month (there are 3 in April) get to choose what they'd like to eat to celebrate their birthday. A cake is a given, but whether they want Mexican, Italian, BBQ, Potato bar or just a "treat" day, it's their choice. They've chosen to have today be a grazing treat day. Someone's bringing sloppy joes, another made-rites, others are bring condiments, and just general snacky foods. Oh Lord, I'm going to need to SING today!!! I had my microwaved scrambled eggs with fresh spinach and salsa for breakfast but Lord, I'm having an emotional day today because I miss my friend Mary, who died, and I've learned that I'm an emotional eater. I eat to comfort myself. God, help me, strengthen me, comfort me, protect me from foods that should not go past my lips. Yesterday, for Professional Associates Day, my supervisor brough 3 dozen cream-filled, glazed and sprinkled donuts. I didn't eat a one! That was tempting, but do-able. "What goes past the lips, stays on the hips!" Thankfully, I'm going out for lunch with my friend's daughter, Renee, and will get to bypass lunch at work. We're going to a restaurant that has salads, so thank you Jesus for your timing there. Then another supervisor took us out to lunch yesterday at Granite City to "celebrate" and I stayed strong and ordered only a cup of tomato basil soup (took out the crouton garnish)and 1/2 sandwich of tomato, 2 slices of bacon and sliced avocado. Funny story there. I was told before I we left that that restaurant had a healthy eating section on their menu. So I asked the waittress if that was true and where could I find that on the menu. She said (get this), "How healthy do you want?" "Well, healthy," I responded. No, we don't have anything healthy on the menu." REALLY? Well, al-righty then. My meal came with fries and cole slaw and I told her not to put that on the plate, I didn't want it. She looked at me with a puzzled look wrote that down and then proceeded to forget my cup of soup. All that came on the large plate was the 1/2 sandwich. Took 3 reminders to get the soup. So I'm thankful for my time with the Lord this morning in the pool. I praise him for time alone with him in His word. I WILL honor Him today by caring for this temple He's given me. I will sing to him in my heart and if necessary out loud. No matter what Satan says, no matter what he does, no matter how I feel, God's grace will get me through this day. Because I'm not alone, God has His angels right beside me. on my right, on my left, they're cheering me on!

Cotton Candy

So I was reading in my devotional book this morning after working out on the treadmill and elliptical machine and read: Isaiah 55:2b-"Listen, listen to me and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." The "eat what is good" part intrigued me, in fact, verses 1-11 fascinated me. Yet, the "richest of fare" part puzzled me. So I looked the passage up in The Message version and LOVED what I read. Read this: Verse 2 - "Why do you spend your money on junk food, your hard-earned cash on cotton candy? Listen to Me, listen well: Eat only the best, fill yourself only with the finest." (Don't you just love that?) Verse 3 - "Pay attention, come close now, listen carefully to my life-giving, life nourishing words. I'm making a lasting covenant commitment with you, the same one that I made with David: sure, solid, enduring love. (life-giving, life nourishing-how cool!) Verse 4 - "I set him up as a witness to the nations...And now I'm doing it to you:" (I'm a witness for God? Really? God is setting me up as a witness to "nations"? I see that not as a nation like a country, but as a witness to people groups. Verse 5 - "You'll summon nations you've never heard of, and nations who've never heard of you will come running to you because of Me, your God, because The Holy of Israel has honored you." (People I've never heard of? Because of You, O God, only because of You) WOW! Personalize this and it'll take you higher than you were yesterday. And those junk food and cotton candy quips? TeeHee. May that make you smile and cement your resolve to eat healthier than you did yesterday. In Jesus' name. Amen

Interesting Read

A Diet Might Cut the Risk of Developing Alzheimer's By Sumathi Reddy Read in 04/21/15 The Wall Street Journal, the Personal Journal, Health & Wellness section In part, it reads: Researchers successfully tested a special diet they designed that appears to reduce the risk for developing Alzheimer's disease. The study compared the so-called MIND diet with the popular, heart-healthy Mediterranean diet and the DASH diet, which is intended to help control high blood pressure. The MIND diet borrows significantly from the other two, and all are largely plant-based and low in high-fat foods. But the MIND diet places particular emphasis on eating "brain-healthy" foods such as green leafy vegetables and berries, among other recommendations. The study, conducted by researchers at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, found strict adherence to any of the three diets lessened the chances of getting Alzheimer's. But only the MIND diet seemed to help counter the disease even when people followed only some of the diet's recommendations. The research was observational, not randomized or controlled, and therefore isn't evidence the MIND diet caused a reduced risk for Alzheimer's. Instead, the research shows there is an association between the two. Experts point to a growing awareness that lifestyle—not just genetics—plays a big roll in the disease. The MIND diet…stands for Mediterranean-DASH Intervention for neurodegenerative Delay. Researchers modified the Mediterranean and DASH diets based on evidence from animal and human studies looking at nutrition and the brain. DASH stands for Dietary Approaches to Stop Hypertension. For example, fruits, a common recommendation in heart-healthy diets, haven't been shown to slow cognitive decline or prevent dementia, but berries, and especially blueberries, have. Dr. Morris said. The MIND diet calls fore eating berries at least 2x/week and doesn't include recommendations for other types of fruit. Research also has shown that green leafy vegetables protect the brain more than other vegetables. The MIND diet includes one serving of greens in addition to eating one or more other veggies a day. It is heavy on nuts and beans, whole grains and olive oil and recommends a glass of wine a day, all of which also are recommended by one or both of the other diets.