A Bug's Testimony

After my workout yesterday morning I headed to the locker room to shower, change and prepare for work. I stepped into the shower, turned on the water and discovered that the water level on the floor was rising to my ankles. Looking down I saw that the drain was filled with hair and other debris, one of which was a black bug. I used the end of an old razor to try and clear the hair from the drain holes and pushed enough of it sufficiently away to see the water begin to drain. That bug was in the midst of what must have seen to be a tidal wave to him, but he kept swimming against the current. I thought surely he would drown and go down the drain but he fought valiantly on. I could have stepped on him and killed him, but I was bare-footed and the thought of his bug juices between my toes was not appealing. He fought with all his might to escape and finally made it a good foot from the drain, only to find himself in the midst of a torrential downpour from the water streaming down from the shower head and beating against his tiny little body. Still he fought to live. Forcing his tiny legs on he made it to the edge of the stall and seemed to dance for joy with his new-found freedom. Thinking he'd be okay now, I ignored him at that point and continued on with my shower. Toweling off I glimpse him out by the lockers upside down and on his back, wiggling his legs and seeming to give up. He had fought so hard to live that it seemed unimaginable that he would surrender his life at this point. I gently nudged him with my toe to flip him over and put the towel over my wet hair. Looking back, he was on his back again. "What are you doing?" I asked him, "trying to dry off your belly or giving up?" I nudged him again and he crawled away to the corner of the floor at the edge of the lockers. Who knows where he went from there, but the Lord surely taught me an important lesson in that little bug. His life's journey is miniscule compared to mine and even more minute in the grand scheme of life. If that little bug, whom God created, can survive his near death experience and want to give up and die after the battle...and with a simple nudge from my toe, carry on, surely I, whom God also created, and loves even more, can overcome any obstacle put in my life to discourage me. With the full weight of His love and power He will equip me to thrive and be the jewel He knows I am. And when I want to give up and quit, He will send someone to give me a little nudge to encourage me to carry on to live fully in Him. How cool is that? Live, fellow struggler, keep fighting, and even when you've overcome and still the spirit of depression or doubts come against you, cry out to Him and He will bring His angels to you to encourage you. If He did it for Jesus, surely He will do it for you and me. No one may see your struggle, but He does, and He will never leave you, He'll never forsake you, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! He'll never leave you, He won't forsake you, You can take all your troubles to His throne. He'll walk beside you, He'll love and guide you, On His Word you can depend. He'll never leave you, He won't forsake you, You can trust your truest Friend, I will trust my truest Friend, He'll always be my truest Friend!!!

He does Serve Cheese with my Whine!

This morning I felt the need to go to the pool to work out. Truth be told, I was in need of "me" time with my Trainer Jesus. Earlier this week He told me I needed to go into another room, get on my knees and lift up each person I was angry with and forgive them. It was difficult, but I did that. So I thought I was good to go. Alas, more of a "work out" was needed. (Isn't it always?) This morning I was surrounded by darkness. Normally in the pool that's fine; I like to leave half the lights off to create a sense of intimacy. However, this morning the darkness seemed to close in on my from a lot of angles. It was 5:30 in the morning and the sun hadn't risen yet so it was dark outside, the gym lights were off as were half the pool lights so it wasn't as welcoming as I'd hoped and mentally many negative memories and current and past issues were creeping into my thoughtlife. I worked out, but had a difficult time even "looking" at my Lord. There wasn't the joy I usually find during my time with Him. So, being the friends that we are, I shared my unsettling, depressing, pain-filled thoughts with Him. I told Him of about missing my friends, both who've died and/or moved on or away: my friend Mary, husband Mike, friends Sandy Jo, Renee, Liz, Etta, Tina (all of whom are in another state now, either physically or mentally, my frustration with the weight loss journey and progress, (or seeming lack thereof), concerns about my son, problems at work...I shared it all. And yes, I must admit, the more I spoke the whinier I sounded. Even that didn't stop me from telling Him, I just wanted to be "real" with Him. Although He already knew what I was feeling, He let me vent. When I wound down, wiped my tears I heard His response: "Daughter, you need to praise Me." So rather begrudgingly I began doing that. Towards the end, although the darkness hadn't seemed to change around me and I really, honestly didn't feel the words, I began to sing a chorus we'd sung at church: "I've got so much thank Him for, so much to praise Him for, well you see, He's been so good to me, and when I think of what He's done and where He's brought me from, I've got so much to thank Him for." You'd think that'd be it, but my Trainer wasn't finished yet. He had still more to i,part. As I normally do, when I got to my office I opened my devotional and although the verse for the day was good, it was the verses above it that stood out in bold letters. He let me know, in no uncertain words from His WORD, that He not only had my back, but was right beside me on this journey to liveliving He's begun in my life. I'm going to print it (James 1:2-4)here in The Voice version because of how it reads, but many know these verses as well as I do. Still, read this: "Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing." WOE!!! Isn't that awesome? It hit me right between the eyes, in my solar plexus and went straight to my heart. Rather than shame me, He lifted me up and a new light has begun to dawn. He will complete the work He's begun in my life, the weight will come off, I will be fit for His Kingdom work, He will continue to bring newness into my life, both in friends and adventures, I am walking with my King and He truly does love me.WOW!! Praise You Lord!

With God ALL Things are Possible

Bear with me here. I'm not whining or getting depressed, but seeking truth. My prayer yesterday: "Father we, you, me, your angels and the prayers of my friends, walked the 5K race on Saturday and I honor you through the pain of the blister and Achilles tendon strain. May my pain be your gain. But Father, everything I read tells me, especially as a diabetic, how impossible it is to lose weight, that 90% regain the weight and fail in their attempt at weight loss. I'm grateful that, even at over 100 lbs over the weight I should be, I could do a 5k. Thank you. Now I desire to stand on your word for the weight loss. Your Word says in Luke 1:37-"For with God nothing will be impossible." and in Matthew 19:26-"Jesus said, 'With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." and in Mark 9:23-"All things are possible to him who believes." I don't want to follow man's way, but yours." "My desire is to have my body, your temple, fit for your kingdom work. So, okay Father, I'm standing on your Word of truth. in Psalms 121 your Word tells me that You watch over my every step, you won't let me fail, you will keep me from all harm, and in Psalm 120, you will answer me when I call on you in my distress. So in accordance to your Word Father, I am asking you, show me, tell me, train me how to get this weight off my body." "You gave me victory with the 5K. Exercise is now part of my daily life and I praise you for that. In this new phase of my journey I'm turning this body over to you completely. You gave me exercise cheers to keep me on track in preparation for the 5K, and they were just what I needed. I know you want to bring me victory in every area of my life because that will bring honor and glory to you. You started me on this journey to liveliving. I lift my hands to you O God; my body is entrusted into your care. Speak O Lord. I'm ready to listen."

Back on Track

Okay, I'm back on the treadmill track, with a little twist. This week has been a difficult one because it seemed the harder I worked the further behind I got. So yesterday (Friday) as I struggled to walk my first 10 minutes at 3.3 mph I realized something had to change. Something was changing in me and I needed to pay attention. I did another 10 minutes and my body just stopped. Feeling defeated I got off the treadmill and walked around the gym too cool down and wound up near the elliptical machines. "Why not?" He said to my heart. I've never stepped on an elliptical machine before and from what all I've heard it's not an easy machine to get used to, works other muscle groups and looked like a challenge. "You're up to a new challenge, daughter. Let's do it." So I stepped on the foot pads and off we went. I was invigorated, I was doing something new, different and it wasn't as difficult as I thought it'd be. I worked five minutes and felt revived. Yes, when I got off my legs felt like jelly, but I also felt a sense of accomplishment. I know I can walk the 5K, but that's not the be all, end all of my journey to live living. This new change is what I needed. I'd walked a 5K the past 2 Saturdays and it was time to go at it from another angle. I kept hearing, "It's not about speed, it's about endurance!" Okay Father, guide me to endure. I'll follow your lead. I can't quit. I must look up, look out, keep walking with my Jesus. This is His purpose for me right now, no matter what satan says, no matter what he does, no matter how I feel, God's grace will help me through. At one point on the treadmill he prompted me to shout out "GRACE" and I marinated on it's meaning for some time. Grace is God's favor in my life. He loved and loves me so much that He sent His Son to die for me that I might have blessed fellowship with Him. What are a few challenges to me? He will walk me through those valleys. Today is Saturday, March 28th. Next Saturday is April 4th and the next Saturday is April 11th, the day of the race. When I tell others I'm training for this 5K many say to me, "Oh, I've done a lot of 5K's, no big deal." Well, yes, that's probably true. I've done a couple 5K's before myself. But this one is different. This time it's just the beginning of His purpose for my journey to live fully alive. There's so much more ahead for me and Him. I've been at this since January and to be honest with you, I've not lost weight, physically, but I'm believing God that as I continue this journey He will take care of that. What's of greater importance is to do my best to balance my mind (thoughts), my body (get fit) and my heart (grow in intimacy with Him). I am so excited to see what He has in store for me next. A 10K? a half-marathon? A marathon? Don't know. From a worldly point of view that'd be logical, but God's logic goes deeper and I desire to be open to His leading. I will continue to balance my exercise plan to be as fit physically as possible, but mustn't neglect the other areas of my life that He desires to become fit. I WILL to speak life to myself and others. I WILL to get so physically fit that the medicine I'm currently on can be discontinued. I WILL to encourage others to know Him more intimately I WILL seek His heart and become fat in the knowledge of Him. I AM His child and am successfully obeying His will. In Jesus' name, may He be glorified in my mind, body and spirit. LET'S DO THIS!