Believe This!

 

 I've had weight loss struggles for most of my life and started this journey to Liveliving in 2009. After battling weight loss for so long I had a strong gut desire to lose weight under God's leading and not by worldly, well meaning weight loss programs or gastric bypass or any number of other plans put forth by well meaning, sincere proponents of weight loss who gladly took my money and gave me very little in return. I'd tried that and got literally nowhere. Been there, done that. So I prayed and went on line searching for a Christian program that would show my through God's Word how to become healthy spiritually, mentally and physically. Surely there was SOMETHING or SOMEONE out there who shared and understood my desire to get my direction on how to lose weight successfully from the Lord. After all, God created me, surely He had instructed someone out there who had a way for me to be led through His Word to a healthier me.
     It took some searching but I did find one new site which seemed to be offering all that I was looking for, www.LiveLiving.org. I contacted Etta Dale (now Hornsteiner) on her website; she responded by email and said they had been preparing a bible study on Health and Wellness, but it was online only at this time. That didn't work for me. I wanted something in my hand that I could learn from, share with others in a study setting and then share with others in a greater way.
     Little did I know when I put forth the prayer to God requesting He guide me in losing weight, that He would take my request and transform my whole life. My vision was to become a size 12 again and brag to others about how God led me through His Word to my weight loss goal. Oh, how small minded and limited was my sight.
     It's been, now, going on 6+ years and although I've lost some physical weight (certainly not the 100+ pounds I wanted),  have learned to eat healthier (although I do lapse now and again) and have witnessed deeper insight to my heavenly Trainer, He is showing me that my initial prayer was only a grain of sand on the beach of my transformation journey to fully live living. I thought He would wave His magic hand over my body and I would be thin within a year's time. Humph,  I actually thought giving Him a year was quite gracious on my part. It didn't happen in a year, and in my eyes it appeared it would never happen. After all, it's been over 5 years and I'm still "fat" in my eyes and have failed time and time again. However, what I'm learning is that in order for Him to show me the jewel He's created me to be He had to start at the very beginning of my inner life and expose those issues He desired to not only heal and erase, but transform. I have a lot of inner scabs and He desires wholeness within me so His authentic life within me can be witnessed by others.
     When my heart is open to Him (and sometimes I still try to shield parts of me from Him), but when it is open, He imparts precious aha moments to me at the most ingenious times. Just this morning I attended a Beth Moore simulcast entitled "Audacious". Within the first 15 minutes of the worship time I was particularly struck by the women on the screen who were singing praises to their God. At first I was puzzled as to why He wanted me to take a good look at them. What I saw was that they weren't a perfect size 6 with perfect teeth, make-up and "Stepford Wives" Christian-ese language. Not one of them was a size 6 or even a size 12! One woman was quite large with a quite largely beautiful voice and she didn't seem to mind that others would see her size 26+ body. Nope, she was just focused on singing praises to her God. They ALL, with great boldness and sincerity authentically bared their hearts to, not only God, but to the 8,000+ women in the Wichita, Kansas stadium and the thousands upon thousands of women (and a few men) across the 50 United States of America and 19 countries who were watching the simulcast. They were beautiful and I wanted to be just like them!
     And do you know what my heavenly Trainer said to me? He said, "Daughter, I've told you in my Word, and am telling you now this truth. By the way, see how they praise Me? I love that! Don't you know by now, I don't focus on what size you are outwardly. It's not about the outside appearance. It's about the inner you that I care about. It's about your heart. I love your heart!  Get and be physically, mentally and spiritually healthy. I will take care of the rest. All that's not of Me I will wipe away. You asked me to become healthy spiritually, mentally and physically. I'm doing that NOW. I'm answering your heart's cry, your prayer, NOW. My desire is that you celebrate who I have created you to be. You know who she is, I've shown you. Celebrate the awesomeness of Me in you! Let Me fully live through you. You keep in My Word and keep your eyes on Me, not your circumstances and failures. Look upon and trust Me."
     "Daughter, shake off what to you seems like steel chains and is bondage. To Me those chains are like paper. See them as I see them. By the power of My Son who lives in you...PRAISE!! All those things of your past that held you down, all the lies you've listened to (and believed)  about your worth and whether you'd be accepted by those you love, all the times you sabotaged your progress in being healthy because you felt you weren't good enough and deserved to fail, they are nothing in My presence. Celebrate that truth. The truth is that you truly are precious in My sight, you were fearfully and wonderfully made, I DO have plans for your life, you were created to show others that feel just like you do that My Word is true and that I love you and I love each one of them with a love that will never die. Your shame is undone in My presence. BELIEVE THIS!"