Back on Track

Okay, I'm back on the treadmill track, with a little twist. This week has been a difficult one because it seemed the harder I worked the further behind I got. So yesterday (Friday) as I struggled to walk my first 10 minutes at 3.3 mph I realized something had to change. Something was changing in me and I needed to pay attention. I did another 10 minutes and my body just stopped. Feeling defeated I got off the treadmill and walked around the gym too cool down and wound up near the elliptical machines. "Why not?" He said to my heart. I've never stepped on an elliptical machine before and from what all I've heard it's not an easy machine to get used to, works other muscle groups and looked like a challenge. "You're up to a new challenge, daughter. Let's do it." So I stepped on the foot pads and off we went. I was invigorated, I was doing something new, different and it wasn't as difficult as I thought it'd be. I worked five minutes and felt revived. Yes, when I got off my legs felt like jelly, but I also felt a sense of accomplishment. I know I can walk the 5K, but that's not the be all, end all of my journey to live living. This new change is what I needed. I'd walked a 5K the past 2 Saturdays and it was time to go at it from another angle. I kept hearing, "It's not about speed, it's about endurance!" Okay Father, guide me to endure. I'll follow your lead. I can't quit. I must look up, look out, keep walking with my Jesus. This is His purpose for me right now, no matter what satan says, no matter what he does, no matter how I feel, God's grace will help me through. At one point on the treadmill he prompted me to shout out "GRACE" and I marinated on it's meaning for some time. Grace is God's favor in my life. He loved and loves me so much that He sent His Son to die for me that I might have blessed fellowship with Him. What are a few challenges to me? He will walk me through those valleys. Today is Saturday, March 28th. Next Saturday is April 4th and the next Saturday is April 11th, the day of the race. When I tell others I'm training for this 5K many say to me, "Oh, I've done a lot of 5K's, no big deal." Well, yes, that's probably true. I've done a couple 5K's before myself. But this one is different. This time it's just the beginning of His purpose for my journey to live fully alive. There's so much more ahead for me and Him. I've been at this since January and to be honest with you, I've not lost weight, physically, but I'm believing God that as I continue this journey He will take care of that. What's of greater importance is to do my best to balance my mind (thoughts), my body (get fit) and my heart (grow in intimacy with Him). I am so excited to see what He has in store for me next. A 10K? a half-marathon? A marathon? Don't know. From a worldly point of view that'd be logical, but God's logic goes deeper and I desire to be open to His leading. I will continue to balance my exercise plan to be as fit physically as possible, but mustn't neglect the other areas of my life that He desires to become fit. I WILL to speak life to myself and others. I WILL to get so physically fit that the medicine I'm currently on can be discontinued. I WILL to encourage others to know Him more intimately I WILL seek His heart and become fat in the knowledge of Him. I AM His child and am successfully obeying His will. In Jesus' name, may He be glorified in my mind, body and spirit. LET'S DO THIS!

Open Heart Surgery

Thursday's are my week day specifically set aside to exercise in God's Word. Although I read His Word every day, on this day, for me, it's a more intense, seeking time with my Father. So I'm not going to talk about how many miles I walked on the treadmill. Sometimes clarity of balance comes when dealing with the unexpected. Today, right now in fact, at 7:00 AM in Iowa, a dear friend is beginning to undergo open heart surgery. I spent a couple hours with her last night at the hospital and after a long hug, some laughter and catching up, she shared her frustration with "just not knowing what's going on. I just wish someone here would tell me somthing! I've been in the hospital since Thursday and no one's telling me anything. I'm really scared." She's got several things going on. Her carotid arteries have blockages and they were viewing her heart (she's had 2 stints in the past 10 years)and the doctors thought the aortic valve was blocked as well. She turns 75 on April 1st, has diabetes, knees and hips that need replaced and is looking at Mt. Everest health-wise. She has a right to be scared and frustrated, yet as we talked and she spoke of her relationship with Jesus, a lot of that tenseness in her shoulders and carriage seemed to relax. Sometimes the best medicine is in a listening ear. We prayed together and asked God to fill her with His peace. We prayed for the doctors, surgeons and nursing staff. We prayed and thanked Him for the wisdom He is giving them and the insight to best care for her physical heart. I was reminded this morning of the verse in Ezekiel 36:26 that the Lord gave me when my husband had angioplasty back in the 1984: "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." This isn't necessarily speaking of the physical heart but He gave it to me so I'm claiming it for my friend. Turns out, just as I was preparing to leave a doctor walks into the hospital room and begins to tell her "what's going on." How like our heavenly Father to show up like that, just when another pair of ears is needed to share the information with her family. We were please to hear that her aortic valve is fine and won't need replaced. But they are going to do a bypass on the front of her heart and bypass the stints. Her carotid arteries will be taken care of in weeks to months in the future. The greatest concern right now is the blockages in her heart and that is being taken care of now. (Just got a text from her daughter that they just took her back for surgery, it's now 7:15 AM). Yes, we could chastise one another for not taking better care of ourselves and telling ourselves we shoulda, coulda, but she didn't, and still God has her in the palm of His hand. He loves her and is with her and will see her through this (if I may)"exercise" of her life. One thing it does do, it spurs me on to be more aware of what I eat, to eat healthier, to walk more, to spend more time with those I love and with my Father, to speak life into my actions, words and thoughts and to live more fully. Thank you Father for your peace and comfort for my friend and her family. Thank you for never leaving us, nor forsaking us. Thank you for being our strength, our hope, our refuge in times when we are weakest. Thank you.

I Will Show You

Monday was a tough day. My personal goal for Monday (after walking on Saturday with a 3.3 mph walk for 3.1 miles), was to increase my speed to 3.4 mph for 30 minutes. Sounded good and right to me. Problem was, it was my goal, not my Trainer's goal for the day. I did increase the speed to 3.4 mph but could only walk 20 minutes. "Okay," I said to myself, "It wasn't 30 minutes, but it WAS 20!" Still, I felt I had failed...again. I kept repeating, "I will not quit, walking with my Savior; I will NOT quit, walking with my King!" but 20 minutes was all I could do. Made for an emotionally tough day. So yesterday, Tuesday, I decided, with my husband's encouragement, to work out in the pool instead. The pool is where I go when I need one-on-one time with my Lord. It's 5:00 AM and no one is in the whole 8-story building by me and Jesus. I worship Him, sing to Him, talk to Him about whatever is on my mind and do exercises in the pool. He sits at the end of the pool listening and encouraging me. Normally. Yesterday I could hardly look towards him. I was ashamed and felt I had disappointed Him. Yes, I do beat myself up rather well. Do you know what He did? Nothing. Didn't ridicule me, chastise me, condemn me or "I told you so" me. He just sat there and waited for me to talk. Once I shared my heart with Him He gently said, "I didn't instruct you to increase the speed." I know, Father. "Remember, it's not about speed, it's about endurance, perseverance, trusting Me to show you the way you should go." I was reminded of His words this morning after I returned to the treadmill and walked 30 minutes at 3.3 mph. He sent me to Genesis 12:1-"The Lord said to Abram, "Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you." He basically said the same to the rich young ruler in Matthew's gospel. I hear a theme here. "I will show you." He then confirmed his words when He sent me to Psalm 138:8 - "The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your love O Lord, endures forever--do not abandon the works of your hands." Back on track Lord. I will look up, look out and continue walking with my Savior. I will look up, lok out and walk with my King! I will not foresee my own future. I will surrender that all to Jesus, for I am the work of HIS hands, not mine. May your name be honored in me, O Lord.

Look Up, Look Out!

Well, for the second Saturday in a row I walked a 5K on the treadmill. Last week my speed was 3.2 mph in 59 minutes, and today was at 3.3 mph, and I walked it in 56 minutes. That may not seem like much to a seasoned runner or 5K, 10K or even marathon regular, but for someone who is 100 lbs overweight, diabetic and has high blood pressure, that's pretty dog gone good! And I am quite proud of my efforts. Am even more pleased that the Lord is right there with me, encouraging me with exercise cheers, songs and as my heavenly Trainer, words of truth to step up higher. Today He was disciplining me to stay focused and gave me this cheer: Look up, Look out, Set your eyes on Jesus. Look up, Look out, You're getting fit for Him. Look up, Look out, Walking with my Savior. Look up, Look out, I'm walking to my King. What was interesting was that as I looked ahead and stayed focused I could see that shadow outline of a person (I like to think it was Jesus). If my mind drifted to negative thoughts (sent by the enemy) or trivial distractions, then the image faded. Yet, as I was being disciplined to intently focus on "walking with my Savior," the lower my gaze, the wider the image became, and when I raised my eyes higher it got more slender. I liked that! LOL I know it sounds silly and to some it might seem just a product of my imagination, but even when I got distracted and the image faded, His Spirit that lives within me reminded me of that poem, "Footprints in the Sand". Even when I didn't see him, "it was then that I carried you," and I was comforted and empowered to keep on walking. I got to 55 minutes and switched the machine from minutes to miles, looking for that goal of 3.1. When I switched it I saw 3.02 mph, and something within me became giddy with excitement. I was almost to the "finish line." It was even harder to stay focused! My husband was walking beside me on another treadmill and as I reached the 3.1 mile marker I looked at him and we shared a high five! I told him of the cheer above that Jesus gave me and of how thankful I was to the Lord for this victory. Then the joy of the Lord filled me with laughter. I couldn't stop shouting "thank you Jesus!" Walking out of the room to the showers I couldn't not shout His praise! My God is so good to me and I know that I know He is guiding me straight to the victory that lies ahead on April 11th. I know you may be asking about now, "What is the goal for next week?" I pondered that as I waited for the water to heat up in the shower. When I told my supervisor yesterday about what I was doing he said, "You're getting pretty serious about this, aren't you? Before you know it you'll be doing a 10K and then a half marathon and marathon!" I don't know about that, but for next week the Lord and I agree, 3.4 mph is my goal. Jogging? Running? Well, as He takes the weight off that may be another challenge to overcome. The knees won't tolerate that with all this excess weight, but I'm optimistic. In Jesus' name I agree with His word that tells me, "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength!"

No Matter What you Say

No matter what you say, No matter what you do, No matter how I feel, His grace will get me through. Heaven's gates are open, His strength and power is mine, My heavenly Father is leading me Straight to the finish line! The goal today was 50 minutes at 3.3 mph. At 20 minutes I was winded and ready to quit. But that's when the exercise cheers kicked in, somewhat. And from that moment all the way to 42 minutes I cheered, sang and pleaded for help from my God, and still the enemy fought me mentally and physically all the harder. At 43 minutes I cried out to my God, "Lord, you've got to give me something, I'm not going to make it to 45, let alone 50." "Look up," He said, "Look out, set your sights on Me. Look up, look out lift your hands and praise!" Under my breath I said, "You have got to be kidding." But I repeated what He just told me aloud and lifted my arms in praise as long as I could. It was now at 44 minutes and still no breakthrough, the enemy was taunting me even harder. His Spirit welled up in me and out came, "No matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter how I feel, His grace will get me through." I looked up and the second phrase poured out of my lips, "Heaven's gates are open wide, His strength and power is mine, My heavenly Father is leading me, straight to the finish line!" Had I quit at 40, had I given up at 44, I would never have gotten this blast of His power at 45 minutes which carried me through to 50 minutes, 2.75 miles! No matter what the enemy says, no matter what he does, no matter how you feel, God's grace will get you through!

Live In Victory Every day!

Today is set aside for me to exercise in God's word. He's led me to Isaiah 40: 28-29, which reads: "Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." I don't ask why, Father, but I do want to ask what is your purpose for this burning inside me to lose weight and be fit? I've been at this now so sincerely since the first of January 2015 and haven't lost a pound. What's your purpose? It's just you and me right now Father. Am I totally off track? Wasting all this effort for nothing? His response: "Daughter, you have it, you have the answer you seek there on your computer's screen saver. My purpose for you is to "Live so others Win!" Live so others see Me, come to Me and win. Win eternal life, yes, but as you're learning, there's so much more to a relationship with Me than life in eternity. Really look at the word 'live'. You like to do this but see it this way, "Live In Victory Every day". Starting now, fully, to overflowing, joyful, exciting, fulfilled, rich life! That's what I long to give each one of my children, beginning in their lives immediately. Dump the weight, the baggage, the guilt, the fear, the depression and mistakes of the past on me. Lay them at the foot of my cross and LIVE!" "All that huffing and puffing you're doing as you walk on the treadmill? That's a metaphor for the "weight" that is holding you back from fully walking with me. Give it to me, remember? My yoke is easy and my burden is light." At this point I thought, "Where is that verse?" and went to look it up. It's in Matthew 11:28-30. Oh, my dear God! When I read it in The Message version it said this: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced, rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." WOW. WOW.

Quinoa and Kale Cakes

Saw this recipe in a local Des Moines magazine called "Living". Yeah, cool, huh? Anyway I got the ingredients and made it last night in place of mashed potatoes and absolutely loved it! I've never eaten kale before, but this was really good. Just had to share it with you. I did make some modifications but on the whole it's pretty much the same. Ingredients: 1 c. red quinoa (I used an Aldi's brand, Fit & Trim, Spanish quinoa & brown rice, without the spice mix) 2 c. water 1/2 tsp. salt 4 green onions, sliced thin (I used chopped red onion, 2 slices) 1 c. minced baby kale (removed stems and cut with scissors) 1 rib celery, minced 2/3 c. flour 1 beaten egg 1 tsp. salt 1/2 tsp pepper 1 T. butter 2 T. oilve oil Directions: 1. In a saucepan, bring the water & 1/2 tsp salt to a boil, add the quinoa & simmer until the water is absorbed. (If using the box mix follow their cooking directions) Cool.(I put it in freezer to cool faster & took it out to stir it until cooled) 2. In separate bowl, mix the minced kale, celery, onion, flour, seasonings & beaten egg. Add the cooled quinoa. 3. In a frying pan, melt the butter with the olive oil. Spoon the quinoa mixture into the hot pan by 1/3 c. cakes & flatten slightly so each is of even depth. Brown the cakes on both sides & drain on paper towels. This makes a nice lunch as a side dish in place of potatoes, high in protein and yummy veggies or by itself as a source of protein.

Rejoice in the Lord Always

You know how someone will write about something or make a an insightful saying and people will post it on facebook or send you an email and everyone goes, "Oh wow, that's deep. That really spoke to my heart today" and then promptly forget it the next day? But if you write a scripture they automatically shut it off and think, "That's not for me, I don't have to read that." Well, when I read this this morning AFTER I'd worked out, it jumped out at me and the spirit within me shouted, "YES!!" Isaiah 30: 18b -"Blessed are all who wait for Him!" Isaiah 30: 19b - " How gracious He will be when you cry for help! As soon as He hears, He will answer you." Isaiah 30: 21 - " Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it." Isaiah 30: 23 - " He will also send you rain for the seed you sow in the ground, and the food that comes from the land will be rich and plentiful." When preparing to get on the treadmill today I clearly heard Him say, "45 minutes today daughter." and several times I cried out to Him for help. He heard me and gave me strength. I heard His voice speak to my heart, telling me to sing, "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice. Rejoice, rejoice, and again I say rejoice. Rejoice in the Lord always, the weight is coming off. Rejoice in the Lord always, I'm getting fit for Him!" Then He gave me (in the same melody), "Keep your eyes on Jesus, He will restore your soul. Keep your eyes on Jesus, He'll guide you all the way, He'll guide you to the end, Just keep your eyes on Him."! For 45 minutes I sang this and also, "This is the day, this is the day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made. I will rejoice, I will rejoice, and be glad in it, and be glad in it!" As the sweat dripped from my head to my chest it felt like refreshing drops of His rain falling like love, peace and joy and I know that I know, that I know, this seed being sown in my life's ground will yield a harvest rich and plentiful for others to eat of it and be blessed. In Jesus' name, I believe and declare your Word over and in my life! Amen.

Rain Down on Me

Okay, so I walked a 5K this past Saturday morning at 3.2 mph in 59 minutes. The goal for this week is to increase the mph to 3.3. Yesterday, Monday, I determined to walk 30 minutes at that speed and did it, which is great, but as you know if you're reading my blog, what I'm going through as I walk becomes a lesson from Jesus which becomes a new exercise cheer. Lately, I've been tempted to keep looking down at the digital read out to see how long I've walked, the eyes just keep looking down, and the Holy Spirit said to me, "Don't look down, Set your sights up higher." But, I so want to look down Father. "Don't look down, set your sights up higher. Don't look down, set your sights up higher!" So I raise my eyes higher on the wall and although I don't succeed in not looking, He drives home the point that, as my dear friend Etta told me, "The body cannot go where the mind has not been prepared to go. The Lord wants me to elevate my mind by renewing it daily!" So today I'm determined to walk 40 minutes at 3.3 mph. I know this is going to be tough, and then I hear, " Don't look down, set your sights up higher, Don't look down, set your sights up higher, Looking to Jesus, Looking to Jesus." "Okay, Lord, but it sure would be nice to actually look AT something. All I see is a bare white wall." And as I'm looking forward and raise my eyes higher I see a shadow outline of Jesus with his arms stretched out. As I keep walking it appears he is moving back and forth as if He's walking just ahead of me. "Oh, I can focus on that Lord! I can surely focus on that!" Thinking this is where He's taking me today I keep walking towards Jesus and then I start to feel drops of sweat falling from my head to my shoulders and chest and the phrase comes to me, "The sweat is melting the fat because...His love (2,3,4), His peace(2,3,4), His grace(2,3,4), is raining down on me. His love...His strength...His grace is raining down on me. Rain on me Jesus, Rain on me Jesus." And before you know it I'm at 40 minutes at 3.3 and my cheer changes to "Your love(2,3,4) Your strength(2,3,4) Your grace(2,3,4), is reigning down and in me, Your lov(2,3,4), Your peace(2,3,4) Your grace(2,3,4) is reigning down and in me, Reign in me Lord, Reign in me!" I want to interject one thing. In the midst of all this I'm very aware of my weakness to quit and my heart cries out to him in song, "I need Thee, oh, I need Thee, every mile I need Thee. O bless me now my Savior, I walk to Thee." You are my refuge and my strength, my very present help in times of struggle. Thank you Jesus!

My First Practice 5K

Well, this beautiful Saturday morning, at 6:00 am, I went to the gym where i work to attempt to walk a 5K on the treadmill. Against all Satan's taunts to quit, I walked it, 3.1 miles. At 3.2 mph I did it in 59 minutes, which would have been less time but I did my 5 minutes warm up starting at 2.7 mph up to 3.0 mph (.22 miles) and so it took a little longer than I anticipated. BUT I DID IT!!! I kept thinking, "at 27 minutes you're half-way there," and then "at 40 minutes you're 3/4 there," and then I had to keep walking because at 50 minutes I wasn't there yet. LOL I kept asking myself towards the end, "Now why are you doing this? What's the motivation, the purpose? Because you're sweating profusely and your body is screaming to stop." Then I remembered that I watched "Facing the Giants" last night. There's a part in the movie where the coach is talking to an older gentleman who has come to the school and prayed for the students at their lockers for years. As the older man is leaving the school the coach goes out and stops him and asks him if he really believes the prophetic word he's just told him were really true. And the man tells him a story. Goes something like this: There were 2 farmers who desperately needed rain and each were praying for rain. One of the men went out and plowed up and fertilized his field and the other didn't. He asked the coach, "Of the two men praying for rain, which do you think received the greater blessing when the rain came?" The coach responded, "Well, the one who plowed his field." Right. You need to go prepare for rain." I remembered his words as I walked. I was preparing for rain. I realized the reason I was doing this, solely was to honor Jesus and to sow others what Jesus can do in their lives if the let him, and the phrase kept playing over and over in my head, "I'm doing it to honor Jesus, Don't quit now. I'm doing it to honor Jesus, don't quit now! You're almost there, you're preparing for rain!" Once I reached 3.0 mph I kept it on that program until I reached 3.1. Several hours later while pondering the morning's event, I realized the more ponder it, the more alive I feel. It's like His joy, His favor is pouring down on me, and in me, like heavenly rain. How I praise His name for the journey to fully alive living!

At 20 Minutes You're Almost There!

That's what I kept saying to myself this morning. After such a let down 2 days before when I could only walk 20 full minutes I was determined to do a full 40 minutes on the treadmill today, at 3.2 mph. Satan tried to stop me by telling me, "Ah, you'll never do it. Look how wavy you are with your steps, you're walking like a drunk. Just stop now and go take a nap. You're wasting your time." So after praying for strength, the Holy Spirit that lives in me said, "You know, at 20 minutes, you're half-way there. At 20 minutes you're half-way there, Look to Me, you're half-way there, Look to Me, you're half-way there." I was encouraged and repeated that until I did reach 20 minutes. Well, I'm going to 40 so what do I say to keep focused now, Lord? "At 30 minutes you're three-fourths there, at 30 minutes you're 3/4 there, at 30 minutes you're 3/4 there, Lift your hands and praise His Name." I kept repeating this one and raised my hands to praise Him each time. Well, praise His name I did make it to 30, Lord, what do I say now? "At 40 minutes you'll be there, at 40 minutes you'll be there, you'll be there, you'll be THERE!" Did that for the next 8 minutes and then it hit me, "At 40 minutes you'll be there, at 40 minutes you'll be there, you'll be there, you ARE THERE!!" Praise His Name! "At 40 minutes I was there! at 40 minutes I was there!" I had made it the full 40 minutes at 3.2 mph. 2.18 miles. With a 4 minute each warm up and cool down that made it 48 minutes. Tomorrow I'm walking the 5K on the tread mill at 3.2 mph. Glory to God!

How You Gonna Live?

Galatians 6: 12, 13b, 14, 15b & 16; Galatians 5:16 (NIV) "Those who want to make a good impression outwardly are trying to compel you to be circumcised (obey all the rules under the Law). The only reason they do this is to avoid being persecuted for the cross of Christ...'they want you to be circumcised that they may boast about your flesh." (Living by the Spirit Paul goes on to write in verse 14a)-"May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ,"..."what counts is a new creation." Galatians 5:16 - "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." I know how the rich young ruler felt in Matthew 19:16-22. He thought he had kept all the commandments, lived right and wanted to know of Jesus how to get eternal life. He earnestly desired to fulfill what he thought was God's best for his life. He'd done all the right things according to the law given by God to Moses and still hungered. What more could he do? Sometimes I feel that way in this journey, what more can I do? I'm eating right, exercising, preparing for a 5K, reading the Word, speaking life to myself and others, and still see no "results" (from a worldly point of view). What more can I do? Jesus told him, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell all your possessions and give to the poor, and you'll have treasure in heaven. Then, come follow me." The guy was holding on to his comfort zone. Pure and simple. Jesus told him he must needs let that go, think of others and look to Him for His comfort, His fulfillment. Jesus would show him the way he could live fully fulfilled (righteously). The saddest verse is #22- "When the young man heard this he went away sad, because he had great wealth." What is it I'm clinging to that prevents Your life from flowing fully through me Father? Daughter, if I desire you to be the fittest fat person you know, will you be okay with that? If you never lose another pound, but still allow me to touch others through your story, which world-wise seems to have no grand outward results, will you be okay with that? Remember, the world looks at the outward appearance, but I look at the heart. Choose this day whom you truly desire to serve.

Elijah, the Big Wussy

This morning my plan was to walk 40 minutes at 3.2 mph. I did 35 minutes yesterday, got to keep it up. But when I opened the gym door I was hit with sauna-like heat and the smell of sweaty feet. It was too much. I could only do 20 minutes on the treadmill. I was dripping sweat at 3 minutes into the warm-up. Stopping at 20 minutes, I went into the showers feeling like a total loser. It didn't help that another young, totally fit, (did I say young?) girl was on the elliptical machine when I arrived just a be-bopping along and when I left she was lifting weights and doing sit ups. SIT UPS! Really???!!!! When I got to my office I was reading the story of Elijah out of 1st Kings 19, where he had killed all the prophets of Baal and King Ahab told Jezebel and she got mad and set out to kill Elijah. He was afraid and ran for his life. When he stopped he prayed to the Lord and basically told him to "Just kill me now." Interestingly, an angel appeared as he was going to sleep and told him to "get up and eat...you have a long journey ahead. What are you doing here?" So Elijah ate the food God gave him and went on his 40 day journey. When with God, Elijah was strong and very powerful, but by himself, Elijah was a big wuss. Still, God knew that and didn't degrade him or call him a loser. He fed him and strengthened him for the journey. And, no surprise here, God took care of Jezebel. Later in 2 Kings I read one of God's prophets foretold that she would be killed, thrown to the ground and be like dung eaten by dogs. (You don't mess with God's child!). Still, I could relate to Elijah's "Just kill me now" attitude. I tried to keep going, but my body just shut down. What's the matter with me Father? At this rate I'll be lucky to finish the 5K in an jour How is that honoring to you? His response: "Daughter, this "race" isn't just for you. You made plans to run your race and that's fine, but it's not about you. Remember? It's about showing others ME. Shake it off, consider it a lesson learned and know I am feeding you what you need to continue your journey. Do like Elijah did, prepare others to walk their journey to honoring Me."

I Can Do It!

My exercise plan this week is to walk solid increments of time, increasing by 5 minutes each day. So Monday I walked 30 minutes at 3.2 mph for 1.8 miles. Today I walked 35 minutes at 3.2 mph for a total of 1.86 miles. Wednesday it'll be 40 minutes, Thursday 45, Friday 50 and Saturday however long it takes to walk a 5K. Next week I'll up the speed to 3.3 for 5 days, the following week 3.4 (I hope), so that by April 11th I will be ready to, if not run or even jog, speed walk it at a good rate. Anyway, that's the physical aspect of the plan. Mentally, He's given me another cheer: "I can do all things through Christ and Christ is doing all things through me by the power of His Holy Spirit who LIVES and abides in me!" It's not about the weight loss at this point, it's about consistency, focus, being faithful to honor God with each step of faith I take. Romans 6:11 encourages me to "count myself dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus." and in verse 13b He drives home the emphasis to "offer myself to God, as those who have been brought from death to LIFE; offer the parts of (my) bdy to Him as instruments of righteousness. For sin (doing things my way to please me) shall not be (my) master, because I am not under the law, but under Grace." I've been set free to fully LIVE the life He's called me to. All glory to God, my race will be won!

He Restores My Soul

"He restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake." Psalm 23:3 NIV My soul=my mind, thoughts feelings, desires, my personality. He restores that. He guides me (my soul) in paths of righteousness=Right beside me He will show me how to think right, understand right, feel right and desire the right actions and whatever is right according to His will. Daily, Father, you will restore the me you created me to be. I believe that. Thank you. Joyce Meyer's devotional reads, in part, "The writer of hebrews said we must submit to the discipline of God." Wow. Okay Father, I'm ready. She goes on to write: "Don't try to resist what God intends to use for your good. Ask Him to do a deep and thorough work in you so you can be all He wants you to be, do all He wants you to do and have all He wants you to have...He promises to restore your soul, all your personality, mind, will & emotions, to make you whole." Okay Father. I'm exercising, eating well and reading your word and still not losing weight. Why? I want to know. Are you drinking enough water? Are you cheating on what you eat? How many days do you exercise? Remember my Word, when you seek me with your whole heart, you will find me. You're doing that daughter. We're closer to each other aren't we? Yes. Now are you ready to go all in with everything else? This next week, starting today, drink half your body weight in ounces of water daily, don't cheat on your food (no chips or junk food-AT ALL). When you're exercising, give it all you got, knowing I am with you EVERY STEP! When you drink that water, think of it as pouring my living water in you. When you resist the junk food, think of it as resisting Satan and receiving life. When you're reading my Word, think of it as a feast and eat all that you can of it. WALK TO ME, WITH ME AND FOR ME!! ALL IN. Do it for one week. Then we'll see what's happened.

God's Anointing

The scripture verse for the devotion for today is from Joyce Meyer's book "Hearing from God each Morning" is from Exodus 30:31-32, NIV. "This shall be a holy oil...It shall not be poured on man's flesh." In part, she wrote: "Only God's anointing can allow me to do what He has called me to do. Otherwise, I'm of no value to anyone. I must walk in love or I won't carry His anointing because God does not anoint the flesh (our own desires and selfish attitudes or behaviors). He does not anoint carnal behavior. We really must walk in love because that aids and increases the anointing on our lives and the anointing is what empowers us to do what God has called us to do. God's anointing is His presence and power and it enables us to do with ease what we could never accomplish with any amount of struggle on our own." Father, reading this is no coincidence, is it? Forgive me. I'm pausing right now to marinate in this and examine my motives for this weight loss journey. Am I walking in your love? Is this desire to be healthy and lose weight selfishness on my part? Am I wanting you to bless/anoint my physical flesh, my own desires, is this for my own purposes or yours? I understand there's a balance--is your will pre-eminent in my life? I earnestly desire your power and presence to be evident in every step of this journey. Show me my sin that I might confess it to you and step forward in your love, reaching out to other so they might seek you. In Jesus' name I pray. Daughter, I am with you. This journey you are on has my blessing and I will keep you balanced throughout it. I've given you my Holy Spirit to encourage you to examine your motives as you go. This is a good thing. Breathe, relax and enjoy the journey.

The Race has been Won!

I'm in week 3 of the Couch to 5K training. Instructions are to warm up for 5 minutes walking, then run 1/4 mile (3 minutes), walk 90 seconds and run 6 minutes. Whew. I've made the decision not to run/jog, but to speed walk at the same rate of speed and today I speed walked my very first 6 minutes. Didn't think it would ever be possible but the Lord was with me, and gave me more than I could ever think was possible. He's added a verse to the last exercise cheer. Here it is: It's not about speed. It's about endurance. Walking with Jesus, Walking with Jesus. Do it for Tyson, Do it for Grace, Do it for those Who can't run the race. You see them ahead, Cheering you on, All glory to God, The race has been WON!!! 2 Chronicles 20:1 says, "After this Moabites and Ammonintes with some of the Meunites came to make war on Jehoshaphat." Weird verse to read today, but Joyce Meyer in her devotional states that you and I have enemy "-ites" chasing us all the time. Well the "can't-do-it-ites" are running away from me now. God gave me strength, He gave me focus, He gave me breathing techniques, He gave me peace, He gave me confidence, He gave me joy, and He gave me victory. Today. Thank you Father

Throw It Where It Belongs

I was hugging a friend who is dealing with a lot of emotional baggage, tears were flowing and I kept trying to tell her before the hug that once she gives it to Jesus He will set her free. I could tell she understood but was still carrying it. However, something happened in the midst of the hug. I looked over and saw a large empty Skippy peanut butter jar and I said to her, "That Skippy jar looks really empty." She looked at it and said, "Yes, I was going to wash it out and recycle it," and was turning it over in her hands, showing me that it really was empty. It truth of that empty peanut butter jar hit me and the Holy Spirit spoke through me and said to her, "Yeah, well, it's empty, has no substance, no useful purpose to your life, throw it away." She turned it over looking at it and again I said, "Sweetie, it's empty, just like your emotional baggage, it serves no healthy purpose, you don't need it, throw it away." She looked at me and again I said, "You know you want to. Go ahead, throw it away." And the next thing we know into the trash she tosses it. "Doesn't that feel better? To throw away that thing that is empty and useless in your life, your health? Recycle it into the trash. Don't keep it around to remind you of yet another thing you haven't let go of. Put it where it belongs, in the trash." She said, "Yeah, it does feel better," and wiped away the tears and a smile emerged.

It's Not About Speed

Psalm 139: 1,4 & 5 NIV O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord. You hem me in - behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me." It may seem trite or even juvenile to someone who literally RUNS a lot, but for someone who hasn't even jogged in 40 years and is 100 lbs. overweight, the exercise cheers the Holy Spirit gives me and the cheering on I get from my Trainer Jesus are my life-blood when I step on that treadmill. I've been feeling guilty that I'm not jogging like the Couch to 5K instructions tell me to, but have been speed walking at the same rate of speed instead. And this is what He gave to me this morning: It's not about speed, It's about endurance. Walking with Jesus, Walking with Jesus. It's not about speed, It's ALL about endurance. You're almost there, Walking with Jesus, Walking with JESUS!! Also, I took a selfie last Friday after I exercised. I looked hideous. You know, you know you're heavy, but when you see an actual picture without all the cover up clothing. Um, Um, Um. Not pretty. But I took another selfie (front and side views) today, one week later and you know, I'm beginning to see it. It's slow, but the weight is coming off. I really can see it in the photos. This is going to be a weekly thing. Maybe I will get my nerve up to eventually put them on this blog, just for accountability sake. Keep looking to Jesus, Keep looking to Jesus!

Fully Alive!

There are many scriptures in the bible that talk about living, but this morning I read this verse, and in the light of living fully alive in Jesus, it really was a light bulb moment. It reads: "This is how God showed His love among us. He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him." (i John 4:9, NIV) Wow. Think about the it, "that we might live through Him." Not haphazardly, not "okay, I'm saved, now what?" But living fully, this life, now, through Jesus Christ. In Him there is nothing we can't do. Whether it be losing weight, being free of emotional or mental baggage that we've carried for YEARS, or being free of an addiction (whether that be food, drugs, alcohol, self-centeredness, insecurities). You and I can be, in every sense of the word, FREE of all that in Jesus to live the live He created us to live, be the person He created you and me to be, fully ALIVE! Woo Hoo!! Thank you JESUS!!! Something to surely ponder and receive into our hearts as truth!

From Death to Life

Yesterday morning we were told that Tina, our co-worker's niece, Grace, 13, committed suicide by hanging herself the night before. Our whole office is in a state of shock and despair. Even so, I went to the gym to work out on the treadmill this morning. As I was warming up I was praying for Tina and her family and my first exercise cheer came to my mind: "From the top of my head, to the tip of my toes, the sweat is melting the fat. I thank you Lord, I praise you Lord, I look unto your face. I thank you for your work in me and walk forward in your grace." And that last word brought young Grace to the forefront of my mind. Her name means "God' favor." As I'm pondering her life I hear the Holy Spirit speak to my heart, "Don't do this (exercising, etc) for yourself, daughter. Do it for the life she could have had; do it for TIna, do your workouts for others, to show them how full their lives can be when they invite Me into their life and along for the journey. DO this for that one woman who believes she'll never make it, never get the weight off, never shake off her emotional baggage. Do this for her, that I might be revealed in you and give hope to that one person I want to touch." Amen, Father, amen.

Barking Leson

Father, I'm sitting her on my bed, reading your word and it tells me to diligently seek and desire to be intimate with you. And from the living room I hear my dachshund Brady bark. He knows I'm awake and wants to be with me. I just want some quiet time, so I ignore him and keep reading and writing about what I'm learning. He continues to call out to me with his barks. Each time he barks I get more irritated, knowing my husband Nick is out there and is also getting irritated with his barking. So I close the devotional and go out to let him out of his crate just to stop his barking. His tail wags and he joyfully prances off to my bedroom. I'm not so joyful. Matter of fact, I'm actually getting angrier with his interruption with each step I take. I'm now ashamed to say I picked him up by the collar and throw him on the bed and shout at him to lay down and be quiet. By now I'm furious and know there is no way I can get intimate with my Father at this point because of the anger welling up within me. I know I've got to calm down or this "time" with my Father is wasted. What does my little dog do? He sits at my hip, puts one paw on my hip, pauses, and then proceeds to burrow under the covers next to me, content to just be with me. Anger, frustration or love, he's just happy to be near me. And I begin to think about my relationship with my own Master. Doesn't He, too, get bothered, angry and frustrated at my continual, insistent "barking" for attention? Doesn't He, too, want to throw me aside just to shut me up? And in my heart I hear Him speak. "No, daughter. You've got it all backwards. the very thing you shun and get angry about is the very thing you seek. I'm like your dog. I'm doing the barking. I'm wanting to spend time with you, no matter how you're feeling. I just want you to instinctively know that I love you and love every part of you. I wait for you to realize that. Don't shut yourself off from Me. Let me in on every part of your life and know my love. Believe my love for you is true, faithful and everlasting, even when you are not." Forgive me Father. I confess you're right. Thank you.

Pick Up Your Feet and Walk

I was dragging my feet on the treadmill this morning and the Holy Spirit gave this to me: Pick up your Feet Pick up your feet and walk, Pick up your feet and walk, Look up, Look out, Step into your future And WALK! And then I looked over and saw my training partner, Liz, running and knew I had to write a cheer for her and for when I get so I can run. The Holy Spirit gave me this: Lift up your Knees and Run Lift up your knees and run, Lift up your knees and run, A new thing He's starting He's only begun, So lift up your knees And RUN!

Exercise Cheers

Lord, it sucks when I run, Puff, puff, puff. But it's fun when I'm done! Puff, puff, puff So the moral of this pun Puff, Puff, Puff Is to run 'til it's fun! Got two new sports bras this past weekend, first time EVER. Had to go to Abdul, the left handed tent maker, but I got 'em. They hook in the front with what seems to be at least 25 hook and eyes. So I put this harness on around the "girls" and out to the treadmill I go. As I begin to jog I feel a scraping on the upper part of my tummy (it still stick out at this stage) and I think, "well, I just need to put my shoulders back" and do so. But afterwards, when I get into the locker room and look in the mirror I see a 2 inch long red mark where the bottom hook was scraping my skin. And out of this experience comes this cheer. Raw from my Bra Cheer My skin is raw from my bra, Keep jogging, keep jogging, The hook is digging, Murphy's law. Keep jogging, keep jogging, If I'd a' looked, I'd a' saw, Keep jogging, keep jogging, That my skin near my bra Keep jogging, keep jogging, Is surely red and raw. Keep jogging, keep jogging.

My Journey to Liveliving

My journey to living fully alive began when I was considering losing weight. I had tried so many programs, Inches Aweigh, Curves, counting calories, looked into gastric bypass (which my insurance wouldn't pay for) and many other options only to no avail. Being a Christian I finally decided to ask the Lord about it. Surely there was some way He could help me lose weight. So I prayed about it and went on the internet to look for a Christian angle to become not only physically, but spiritually fit. I found LiveLiving.org and logged onto that website to see what they had to offer. I found what I was looking for and more. I wanted to be healthy in mind, body and spirit and there it was, so I contacted the website to see if they had a bible study I could use to become healthy in all areas of my body. Author and creator of the website, Etta Dale, responded, stating they were looking to start something like that on-line, but I wanted a bible study that I could share with other women and out of our many conversations was born LiveLiving's Health and Wellness Bible Study, The Ten Commandments for Living a Healthy and Fit life. Wow! Was that ever an eye-opening adventure. The study gave me a solid foundation to beginning this journey to living fully alive in every area of my life, not just in losing weight. That was in 2009. Foundationally, I was set, but little did I realize how much baggage I had carried into this journey and much had to be unloaded to arrive at this point in my life. Many failures occurred and I so wanted to quit and give up, but I knew God had a plan and quitting wasn't an option. That was 6 years ago; so much emotional, mental, physical and yes, spiritual legalism baggage has been dropped into the waters of forgiveness and I have again taken up my cross to continue my journey with my Lord Jesus. This blog is my "journal" of this new phase of my adventure into His plan and purpose for my life. I hope you are blessed by it.