He does Serve Cheese with my Whine!

This morning I felt the need to go to the pool to work out. Truth be told, I was in need of "me" time with my Trainer Jesus. Earlier this week He told me I needed to go into another room, get on my knees and lift up each person I was angry with and forgive them. It was difficult, but I did that. So I thought I was good to go. Alas, more of a "work out" was needed. (Isn't it always?) This morning I was surrounded by darkness. Normally in the pool that's fine; I like to leave half the lights off to create a sense of intimacy. However, this morning the darkness seemed to close in on my from a lot of angles. It was 5:30 in the morning and the sun hadn't risen yet so it was dark outside, the gym lights were off as were half the pool lights so it wasn't as welcoming as I'd hoped and mentally many negative memories and current and past issues were creeping into my thoughtlife. I worked out, but had a difficult time even "looking" at my Lord. There wasn't the joy I usually find during my time with Him. So, being the friends that we are, I shared my unsettling, depressing, pain-filled thoughts with Him. I told Him of about missing my friends, both who've died and/or moved on or away: my friend Mary, husband Mike, friends Sandy Jo, Renee, Liz, Etta, Tina (all of whom are in another state now, either physically or mentally, my frustration with the weight loss journey and progress, (or seeming lack thereof), concerns about my son, problems at work...I shared it all. And yes, I must admit, the more I spoke the whinier I sounded. Even that didn't stop me from telling Him, I just wanted to be "real" with Him. Although He already knew what I was feeling, He let me vent. When I wound down, wiped my tears I heard His response: "Daughter, you need to praise Me." So rather begrudgingly I began doing that. Towards the end, although the darkness hadn't seemed to change around me and I really, honestly didn't feel the words, I began to sing a chorus we'd sung at church: "I've got so much thank Him for, so much to praise Him for, well you see, He's been so good to me, and when I think of what He's done and where He's brought me from, I've got so much to thank Him for." You'd think that'd be it, but my Trainer wasn't finished yet. He had still more to i,part. As I normally do, when I got to my office I opened my devotional and although the verse for the day was good, it was the verses above it that stood out in bold letters. He let me know, in no uncertain words from His WORD, that He not only had my back, but was right beside me on this journey to liveliving He's begun in my life. I'm going to print it (James 1:2-4)here in The Voice version because of how it reads, but many know these verses as well as I do. Still, read this: "Don’t run from tests and hardships, brothers and sisters. As difficult as they are, you will ultimately find joy in them; if you embrace them, your faith will blossom under pressure and teach you true patience as you endure. And true patience brought on by endurance will equip you to complete the long journey and cross the finish line—mature, complete, and wanting nothing." WOE!!! Isn't that awesome? It hit me right between the eyes, in my solar plexus and went straight to my heart. Rather than shame me, He lifted me up and a new light has begun to dawn. He will complete the work He's begun in my life, the weight will come off, I will be fit for His Kingdom work, He will continue to bring newness into my life, both in friends and adventures, I am walking with my King and He truly does love me.WOW!! Praise You Lord!