The Cost of Forgiveness

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depends on God; He is my mighty rock, my refuge... One thing God has spoken, two things have I heard: that you O God, are strong and that you, O God, are loving." (Psalm 62: 5-7, 11-12, NIV) In Joyce Meyer's devotion this morning she spoke about prayer and how it releases the power of almighty God into our daily lives; how it can move the hand of God. Simple, believing prayer. So, okay Father, here goes. You know how I enjoy or visits. They are uniquely ours and I cherish them. You know that, and I feel you smile. We started this conversation yesterday morning and you've brought it up again so I must go there. My work key wouldn't open the gym door this morning, some connection within it is broken and entry was denied. That's how I'm feeling lately, that some connection between me and you is locking me out of, or gaining access to your heart, and I don't have the know how to fix the key. I love our chats, I miss our chats. What am I dong wrong? Show me my sin, that I might confess it and our relationship be restored. "Unforgiveness, daughter." Towards whom? "You know towards whom. Your boss. certain members of your family. Nick. Yourself. Me. Each in a different way and to different degrees, but you know it's there." Oh. "You willingly chose this journey to liveliving. This is part of it, part of your growth. Forgive them." But Father. you know my heart. They hurt me, the child in me. "I forgave you and you killed my Son." Oh. Do I have to "love" them? "Let Me do that part. You just forgive." They will hurt me again. Not forgiving them protects the child in me. It keeps them at a distance. "Yes, but it also locks the door to the growth in our relationship. You don't want that either. Remember, all this brings us full circle to your original question. You want the key to our relationship fixed? Forgive." Okay, so if I forgive... "No conditions daughter, no restrictions. Forgive." That's hard Father. Can't I just jab them a little? "For what? Will that restore your relationshp with them? Jabbing them...a little?" No. "From your heart daughter. Go into another room, shut the door, get on your knees and give them to Me. For Jesus' sake." For Jesus' sake, Father? "Why do you think he willingly died on the cross for you? Just to please me? No, he went through all he did on the cross so that the relationship between me and you could be restored. He paid the ultimate price of forgiveness. Isn't your forgiveness worth it, for Him?" Yes, Father. Thank you. "Give them to Me. Forgive."